Left on the Shelf

A few years ago my wife and I made a trip to the UK. On a tour of the Lake District, our tour guide pointed out a sheep farm that Beatrix Potter once owned. On the barn there was something resembling a covered balcony. This is the place where the maidens would spin the wool once it had been processed. This "shelf" was a term used for maidens that never married. They were said to have been "left on the shelf".

That idea of not being chosen can be a painful one and one that not just women who have not found love experience. The idea of not being good enough, or somehow being undesirable is a profoundly human condition that many, if not all of us, experience from time to time.  I have felt this was way in my service to God, having prepared to go to the mission field almost 30 years ago but never actually going. And then, several failed or botched ministry opportunities along the way.  I think there is this idea that I need to somehow be useful to God or maybe it has more to do with wanting to feel important.  Pride is a powerful drug with which I have often experimented. It's effects are both mesmerizing and lethal.  Fortunately my benevolent Creator has protected me of late from this drug.  I will admit that even this blog is a point of contention for me.  There are big gaps of time between postings because of this struggle with pride.  Is this really something that is pleasing to God, or is it just a chasing after vanity?  So writing may not be my vocation and who knows, this may be my last posting.  I am OK with that, but God does have a purpose for me.  I may not know what it is and I may never fully comprehend it in this life.  He has a purpose for all of us and he will fulfill it despite our blunders and missteps.  God leaves no one "on the shelf".

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Psalm 138:8