Dust in the Wind

I'll have to admit, I really like music, and especially music that has meaningful lyrics.  Music can communicate in ways that mere words cannot.  Dust in the Wind communicates the impermanence of things in a powerful way, especially our tendency to try and hold on to things that are passing, sometimes to our own detriment.  I feel this way about the church I have been part of for over 23 years.  I have seen so many people come and go over that period of time.  Some left and returned after a period of time, some left though we maintained  a relationship, and some left and we never saw them again.  One thing is certain, there is a period of grieving for those who remain. You wonder, why are all these people leaving, and why am I still here? There have been a couple exoduses that were especially painful for me because those who left were very special to me and my family.  But we endured.  I did not want to be a leaver.  I cared for those whom I would leave and did not want to cause them more pain.  But in a way, if I were honest, I think I have resented them because I felt they were part of the reason that people left.  I am not saying that I don't love them, but I haven't always been as loving as I should.
Over the course of the last 7 to 8 years, my spiritual direction has changed. I have been compelled to share my spiritual experiences with the church.  And as dutiful members they have come and listened, but my efforts have never seemed to produce much fruit. Recently I had thought I might try once again to resurrect a spiritual dialogue by starting a book study.  But as I read through the book, I realized that I was really trying to force something on them that they were not ready to accept.  I am not saying that I am spiritually superior to them, just that they are not ready to hear what I have to share.  That is totally OK, but there is a part of me that needs to feel useful.  There may be others that need to hear and are ready to listen.  Maybe that is what Jesus was indicating when he told his disciples to wipe the dust off their feet and go to other towns to share the "good news". At some point you have to fish or cut bait. I am not doing them or myself a favor by staying. Sometimes you have to leave to appreciate what you had, sometimes its just time to leave and make a new start.  Nothing is permanent.  Everything is Dust in the Wind.