Should I Stay or Should I Go?

When I was in college this song, by The Clash, was very popular.  "Should I stay or should I go?  If I stay it will be trouble.  If I go it will be double."  I really liked this song and maybe subconsciously I incorporated its message into my life.  Early on, I tended toward the going rather than the staying.  But having a family somewhat necessitated putting down some roots, and I did.  Some 23 years later I seem to be firmly entrenched in the staying mode.  I have been 23 years at the same company, 23 years at the same church, and 20 years in the same house.  The definition of inertia is that a body at rest tends to stay at rest, while a body in motion tends to stay in motion. To overcome inertia you have to apply force. To say that I am stuck at rest would be an understatement.  I am a helpless victim of inertia. This stuckness has consumed my waking thoughts of late.  I have initiated some lame attempts at finding a new job and have visited another church a couple of times but nothing has come of it.  I have firmly come to the conclusion that I should go, but how, and by what force?  Sheer force of will is certainly an option, but there is a crippling fear of making a bad decision.  Lord knows I have made enough bad decisions for a lifetime, and I have my family to consider.  Taking a "leap of faith" seems somewhat irresponsible, but am I just being influenced by what conventional wisdom says? I have known people who took a leap of faith and came out fine. And last Sunday I decided I was going to go to a different church, and I did and felt good about it, but soon afterward I started to second-guess that decision. The other option is waiting for a push.  I must confess that I like this option, but what if the push I am really waiting for is a nudge, and I misinterpret the nudge as a push when it was really indigestion or some hair-brained scheme I came up with.  It has become a psychosis of sorts.  As of right now I have decided to go to the other church despite my misgivings. Changing churches seems like the easiest thing to accomplish and maybe making one choice will facilitate the making of others.  Finally, it seems like fear is my primary hindrance to change.  I desire to live my life in freedom, not fear.  So I am going to move forward.  I'll keep you posted on the progress out of the rut. It may take a while.

Peace,
Adam