Left on the Shelf

A few years ago my wife and I made a trip to the UK. On a tour of the Lake District, our tour guide pointed out a sheep farm that Beatrix Potter once owned. On the barn there was something resembling a covered balcony. This is the place where the maidens would spin the wool once it had been processed. This "shelf" was a term used for maidens that never married. They were said to have been "left on the shelf".

That idea of not being chosen can be a painful one and one that not just women who have not found love experience. The idea of not being good enough, or somehow being undesirable is a profoundly human condition that many, if not all of us, experience from time to time.  I have felt this was way in my service to God, having prepared to go to the mission field almost 30 years ago but never actually going. And then, several failed or botched ministry opportunities along the way.  I think there is this idea that I need to somehow be useful to God or maybe it has more to do with wanting to feel important.  Pride is a powerful drug with which I have often experimented. It's effects are both mesmerizing and lethal.  Fortunately my benevolent Creator has protected me of late from this drug.  I will admit that even this blog is a point of contention for me.  There are big gaps of time between postings because of this struggle with pride.  Is this really something that is pleasing to God, or is it just a chasing after vanity?  So writing may not be my vocation and who knows, this may be my last posting.  I am OK with that, but God does have a purpose for me.  I may not know what it is and I may never fully comprehend it in this life.  He has a purpose for all of us and he will fulfill it despite our blunders and missteps.  God leaves no one "on the shelf".

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Psalm 138:8

The practice of Lectio Divina(Divine Reading)

The following guidelines might be helpful in developing a practice of Lectio Divina.  

1. Reading - Read a short passage of scripture as if it was the first time you ever read it(less than 10 verses is ideal). Quiet your mind and try to listen for a word or phrase that bubbles up. The passage can be read a second time for this first reading if needed. Read slowly and wait on the Lord to reveal what he has for you in this passage.
2. Meditation - After the second reading ponder what Christ, through his Sprirt that lives in you, might be trying to communicate to you through the word or phrase that he has given you.
3. Prayer of the heart - we enter into a unique and spontaneous prayer to God which reaches out to him in ardent love. This prayer is more a prayer of relationship than of petition, though petition is by no means forbidden.
4. Contemplation - We sit in silence before God and allow him to work within us as he desires. If our thoughts come at us to try and disrupt this silence, we can gently repeat the word or phrase given during the reading to re-center us.

Luke 11:9 might be paraphrased in the following way to describe Lectio Divina:

Seek in READING,

and you will find in MEDITATION;

knock in PRAYER

and it will be opened to you

in CONTEMPLATION.

Passages for further Lectio:

James 5:13-20, Matt 6:9-15, Luke 9:46-50, John 10:9-15, John 6:44-47, Luke 22:24-27, John 14:16-19, Matt 25:14-30, Rev 7:13-17, Luke 7:11-17, Luke 8: 40-56, Matt 15:1-20, I Cor 1:25-31, Luke 12:4-12

Much of this material came from the book by Thelma Hall, Too Deep for Words.

Who do people say I am?

I try to do Lectio Divina each day at lunch as often as I can.  Today I was considering the passage in Mark 8 where Jesus asks his disciples, "Who do people say I am?" Everyone knows how the disciples responded and Peter's exclamation that he was the Messiah.  That bit was not remarkable, but the response Jesus gave was.  Jesus warned them not to tell anyone about him.  Some have posited that his time had not yet come and he wanted to avoid the people forcibly making him King.  From a rational point of view I suppose this makes sense, except for it totally dismisses the power of God and his divine providence.  Didn't Jesus say to Pilate, "You would have no power over me if it were not given from above."

Is it possible that Jesus was purposely avoiding notoriety and the public spectacle? Is it possible that the Christ hid in the shadows for a reason?  I cannot think of a time that Jesus forced his ideology on anyone.  Further, most of his teaching was done in parables, many of which his own disciples had difficulty grasping.  Mark paints a picture of Jesus crossing back and forth across the Sea of Galilee trying to avoid the crowds of thronging followers only to be found time and time again.  But herein lies the point I think.  Christ wants to be sought.  He wants us to seek him out.  He never turned away from those who found him. It is in the seeking that we experience the love of Christ.  Christ on a billboard is no savior, much of religion today promises much and delivers little because it provides all the answers.  Christ does not force himself on us, but he does ask, "Who do you say I am?"  Seek him and you will have your answer.

The Waiting Room

I can tell you that waiting is not one of my fondest pastimes.  I have been known to drive miles out of my way just so I don't have to wait for stoplights on busy thoroughfares.  Waiting in Dr's offices, waiting on hold, waiting for a deserved promotion, and waiting in line at WalMart.  All of these things are tedious and a seeming waste of my life. Centering prayer has definitely helped in this area.  One thing I have learned on this journey is that God's timetable is far different than mine.  His work of transformation in me is slow, but it is sure. I am so ready to move on in this spiritual quest, and yet here I am.  If my past life has taught me anything, it has taught me that I must wait.  Not only must I wait, He desires that I should be happy in that waiting.  "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning." And surely he will come!

Adam

Stop Making Sense

This blog has been online for some time now.  I look at the stats and wonder what brings people to this site.  I would guess it may be something in the title that drew them.  I imagine that they click the link looking for something and then realize, "this is not what I was expecting" , and they go on their way.  However, if you are looking for information on the contemplative path and, God, by His divine providence, brought you here, know this.  Until you experience the Love of God in your life nothing will truly make sense.  I wish I could help you on your path to realizing that truth.  I can say it and you may know it.  But unless that knowledge is transformed into a living and breathing reality that lives in your heart then I fear you will be always seeing but never perceiving, always hearing but never understanding.  If you have not experienced the Love of God in your life I would suggest you do 2 things:  1. Seek after it with everything that is within you and do not stop seeking it. 2. Pray that God would give you the grace to receive it. Ultimately His love is His gift to give.  All we can do is receive it with gratitude.