The Peace of Christ

John 20:19b
Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!"


One of the things I really like about the Muyskens book is the bible passage he provides for the reader to meditate upon after spending time in Centering Prayer(CP). By spending the time in quiet communion with God during CP, we are often open to hearing the Living Word. This meditation on scripture is called lectio divina(divine reading) and is a practice started back in the 3rd century by one of the early church fathers, Origen.  The idea is to read through the passage listening for a word from God, then to meditate on that word and what God wants us to hear, and finally to pray for God's guidance and direction. Muyskens suggests journaling our thoughts and impressions gleaned during this time of meditation. I highly recommend this because it is a great blessing to be able to go back and see how our heavenly Father was leading us at a particular time in our spiritual journey.
A couple of weeks ago I was meditating on the above passage. Like many of you, there are a lot of things going on in my life that try to war against the peace in my heart. I have one close relative struggling with mental health issues, another struggling with alcoholism and my father is near death(I am writing this in the ICU waiting room). I have missed many days work due to the above concerns and I have had some anxiety over finances. I can say that ordinarily I don't worry about many things. Yet friends, relatives and the wisdom of the world all try to sabotage my equanimity. It may seem like I am complaining, but I am not. If my peace can be easily disrupted by external forces, then it probably is not the "peace that passeth understanding".  For many years this was the case as I kicked against the goads. Not only was it painful for me, it was painful for those around me, especially my family. Dizzying heights and oppressive depths were the order of the day.  Life was a roller coaster as I looked for the next thing that would would bring me happiness, only to be disappointed when I achieved it or had my hopes dashed when it was denied.  Even looking for spiritual highs did not give me the peace of Christ. The sensation that spiritual junk food gives did not provide lasting satisfaction.  The peace of Christ is not some all-you-can-eat buffet where I could choose from all the things that delight the eye and sate the spiritual appetite. I found that the peace of Christ was found in one spiritual reality for me.  Once I encountered the love of the Father, I understood the peace of Christ(see Love of God post). The love of God called me to complete trust and surrender because of the sacrifice of Christ Jesus.  If He is all-powerful, and He loves me unconditionally, is there anything from which I am unable to recover by His grace an mercy?   Even death is not a loss. God can take my most bone-headed play and turn it to gold, and I have made a number of them.  I don't have it all figured out, but I know that God has my back, and he is just as close to me in good times as in difficult. He knows what is best for me better than I do and keeps me from things that would most assuredly harm me. He takes my failures and disappointments and use them as discipline and instruction for my spiritual benefit. My goal in life is to live as if there are no good times or bad times, because they are all good in Christ Jesus. That is the peace of Christ.

Peace be with You,
Adam

Just Another Brick in the Wall

As I mentioned in a previous post, this blog is primarily for me, but I decided to share this with others who might benefit as an offering to God.  I say an 'offering to God' because I offer it up to Him to let Him do with it what he will. A year ago, my false self would not have had the courage to do this and would have used some false sense of humility as a reason. In the construction of my false self, I created a facade of invulnerability. I did this to protect myself  from the wound of rejection not pride.  I would project the image of a happy-go-lucky guy who always had a smile on his face, but beneath the surface there were many insecurities and fears. One of the outcomes of the contemplative life is that as the Holy Spirit has begun my transformation, the layers of the false self have begun to be peeled back revealing who He intended me to be.  It also means that those defenses I created really don't make sense any more. If I really believe God loves me and is providentially acting on my behalf, then I need to allow Him to take me where He wants, and the defenses I have created get in the way. An illustration might be helpful.  I have always fancied myself as a writer and singer.  This does not mean that I am good at either of these abilities.  However, if I hold back due to fear of rejection then I will never know if these truly were gifts from God, and no one can benefit from them, myself included.  This past week I have done 3 things that were outside my comfort zone.  1. I went to a Centering Prayer(CP) retreat near St. Louis with 56 people I did not know.  2. I auditioned for a choir at my workplace 3. I started this blog.  I can say that God truly blessed me by attending the retreat in ways I still cannot fully understand intellectually.  The jury is still out on the other 2 items, but I will tell you that it does not matter what the outcome of those items are.  If I don't make the choir and no one reads this blog I will continue to trust in my Lord and Savior, because I am confident of his love for me.  As I continue to spend time in CP, God has begun to deconstruct the wall I built brick by brick. As I see the world outside, I see that it really is a place full of pain and suffering as I thought all along, but I also see that there is work that God has called me to.  Work I have neglected in order to protect myself.  Through CP the Father is beginning to show me what it means to participate in the sufferings of Christ.  To open ourselves up to persecution, humiliation and rejection is to be fully human as Christ demonstrated in his humanity. As we suffer though, Christ is there with us. To hide from suffering is to be less than human and ultimately as one without faith in Christ.

Peace be with You,
Adam

Housekeeping

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Peace be with You,
Adam

A Naked Intent

So how do you practice Centering Prayer? I am really only a novice, having only practiced for about 10 months.  However, I have had some good results and I have read many books on the subject, so I will offer what I know and maybe someone more experienced can provide a better accounting at a later date.  To begin with, Centering Prayer(CP) is practiced most often in a quiet place removed from the hustle and bustle of life.  This is not altogether necessary, but probably more helpful in the beginning.  The room can be dark or light and you can pray with your eyes open or shut, or a combination of the two.  It is really your preference, try different ways and see what works best for you.  You should sit comfortably, but not too comfortably that you easily fall asleep.  You may light a candle or have a cross or other sacred symbol to gaze upon. As you are sitting comfortably, introduce your centering word.  This word could be an endearing name of God like "Abba, Father", or "Lord, Jesus".  It could be the word love or peace.  I have used a variety of words.  The purpose of this word is that it should represent your consent to the presence of God and his action within you.  It is a desire to enter into a communion with God.  In the book, The Cloud of Unknowing, by Unknown, the author describes this as a "naked intent" for God.  It might be described as a wordless yearning for him.  After we introduce this word, you set in quiet awareness of God without really thinking of anything.  When thoughts come to mind reintroduce the word to recenter yourself.  The idea is to let your mind rest without the interruption of thoughts.  In the beginning, this may be difficult and you may have to return to your centering word quite often.  Don't despair if thoughts seem to overwhelm you, even very undesirable thoughts.  Just calmly dismiss the thoughts and return to your centering word.  Try to start with 15 minutes but stop when it becomes too uncomfortable. Work up to 20 minutes.  I like to close with the Lord's Prayer.  A WORD OF CAUTION: CP is not a technique which can be achieved.  It is a pure gift of God's Grace.  In other words, don't try so hard.  As we sit in silence we allow God to speak to our spirit in a way that intellectual prayer cannot.  You have to trust that despite the distractions that may occur during the prayer session, that you have received what God wanted you to have.  Sometimes you will receive great spiritual consolations, other times you will not. Thank Him and know that he is working in you to transform you to his image.  Before long you will notice a change in yourself and others will too.

Peace be with You,
Adam

The Love of God

Isaiah 30:18a  
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.

This was the first passage on which I meditated on October 4, 2011. In Muyskens' book(listed in previous post), he instructs the reader to spend 20 minutes in Centering Prayer.  Then you do a form of lectio divina(divine reading), where you meditate on a short passage of scripture and then journal the insights you received.  As I contemplated this passage, I realized that I could not comprehend a gracious and compassionate God. I had always struggled with the idea that God could love me.  My father was/is an alcoholic and although I knew he loved me, the love he expressed was conditional, and if I needed something from him he seemed put upon.  Now to be clear, I have learned to love and forgive my father and I am not trying to bash him.  Nevertheless, the love that he showed me did not make me think of a compassionate and loving God.  I decided to consider the love of my grandfathers, but my father's dad died when he was 4 and my mother's father died when I was 7.  Yet as I thought about my maternal grandfather I remembered an incident that occurred on my 7th birthday.  He was in a nursing home dying of colon cancer.  My mom, my 2 siblings, and I went to visit him, and my mom brought up the fact that it was my birthday.  He turned to my grandmother and instructed her to give me a dollar.  My grandmother had already fulfilled this duty and she promptly informed my grandpa of this fact.  To this he retorted, "Give him another dollar"! Which she begrudgingly did.  I realized the love of God in that one act of my grandpa.  He didn't have to give me another dollar.  It was purely an unconditional act of love.  I had always understood God's love from purely an intellectual basis, but I had never really felt it in my gut. Knowing that my grandpa could love me unconditionally enabled me to comprehend God as a gracious and compassionate Father.  Knowing the Love of God has changed me forever. I no longer despise or belittle myself because to do so is an affront to the God who loves me.  Thomas Keating, one of the co-founders of Centering prayer likens our quiet time with God as Divine Therapy.  When we consent to the presence and action of God within us, and remain still, his Holy Spirit is able to attend to the wounds received over a lifetime and bring healing.  That is what Centering Prayer is about, and this is why I intend to practice it for the rest of my life.


Peace be with you,
Adam

A Journey into Centering prayer

Having just returned from my first Centering Prayer retreat with Fr. William Meninger, one of the co-founders of the Centering Prayer movement, I felt compelled to start a blog about Centering prayer.  In part, so that I may be encouraged by others who may feel led to post here, but also because I feel a need to document my own journey.  My journey really began with my son's interest in the teaching's of Thich Nhat Hanh. I was really seeking a christian response to the zen buddhist's teachings. Before long, God sent a book to me in the mail via Amazon.com.  The title of the book was "Forty Days to a Closer Walk with God: The Practice of Centering Prayer", by J. David Muyskens.  Actually, my daughter was about to start on a year long mission to Brazil, and one of the missionaries sent the book to her.  However, I feel the book was intended for me and I began my journey into Centering Prayer.  I believe the book was a great introduction to Centering Prayer and I have gone through it twice.  My goal is to share some of the insights gained through Centering Prayer and to allow others to post their insights if they so desire.


Peace be with You,
Adam