Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,
and
therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
For the Lord is
a God of justice;
blessed are all
those who wait for him. Isaiah 30:18
This is not the first post about the love of God on this blog. However, since this is foundational to what I hope to convey to you, my children, I want to bring it forth again in some kind of systematic approach. So if you have read some of this before, my apologies. Though I was baptized into Christ over 42 years ago, I think my conversion happened in October of 2011. That was when I first embarked on the practice of Centering Prayer. Annika was preparing to go to Brazil for a year and one of the Brazilian missionaries had sent her a book entitled, "Forty Days to a Closer Walk With God, The Practice of Centering Prayer", by J. David Muyskens. In and of itself, this shipment may have not have evinced much interest, but as Dietrich was actively pursuing a Buddhist practice I had been searching for a corresponding Christian practice, I took notice. As I have often said, "The missionary sent it to Annika, but God intended it for me". At the end of my first 20 minute sit, I meditated on the above passage. As I journaled afterward, as the author suggested, I had the most intense experience of the love of God that I have ever experienced. It was as though God had imprinted my mind with a memory from my youth so that he could bring it back at the appropriate moment to make a point. It was a memory that only he and I could know, and although I had cherished the memory for many years, it was only when God brought it to light in the context of the above passage that I was able to make the connection between that memory and God's love(this is a weak explanation at best). For much of my life, based on the scriptures, I intellectually knew about God's love, but I did not know it in my heart. It would be like a lover writing to her beloved whom she had never met, telling him how much she loved him. The beloved knew based on her letters, that she loved him, but he had no certainty of it. But when they finally met and were in each other's presence, the beloved comprehended the love and his heart was inflamed. The memory ushered me into God's presence and my heart was inflamed when I realized that he did love me, without regard to how I look or how sinful I was or how generally screwed up that I am. It has also given me a great more deal of clarity to Paul's words, "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love". But more on that later.
Practice: Think about memories when you experienced unconditional love.
Peace
Practice: Think about memories when you experienced unconditional love.
Peace
Hey Adam, I'm still following this from when it was called, "Centering Prayer." I hope that is okay. If not, I'm happy to unfollow. Before I do, though, I want to share a similar experience. From the time I made a serious, personal commitment to Christ at age 17, I've always wanted to somehow be vocationally involved in ministry. God, it would seem had other plans. After 14 years a box slave, it finally happened and I became the children's pastor for New Heights Church.
ReplyDeleteAs I was just telling a friend on Friday evening, sometimes the most challenging thing that can happen to our relationship with Jesus is when he gives us the very thing our heart desires. This was the case with me. As a UPS man, I prayed for an hour every work day on lunch. As a minister, I often went several days only doing a few perfunctory prayers squeezed between tasks. It was as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders but in reality it was just the weight of my own ego that pressed me down. I strove for approval especially from those over me and who I perceived to be ahead of me. Praise God, the approval never came. And yet, its absence made me embittered toward those who I thought owed it to me.
Toward the end of my tenure there, I was afforded a rare opportunity to attend "Big Church." During one of the worship songs, I chose to forgive the primary offender. Then I asked Christ to show me if he was with me. He took me to two memories. In the first, I was a preschool child sitting in the lap of a Sunday School teacher at First Baptist in Rogers. I remember pulling the substantial hair on her arms. She didn't wince or recoil but contentedly held me. Since my back was to her, I could not see her face and I felt a strong sense that Christ himself was holding me through her.
The second memory was of my wedding day. Christ was my best man. Through that memory I received a strong correction and affirmation regarding God's priority for and pleasure over my relationship with Jamie.
This was a very powerful experience and tears streamed down my face.
Thanks, Adam, for pointing me back to this time. I need frequent reminders.