The Waiting Room

I can tell you that waiting is not one of my fondest pastimes.  I have been known to drive miles out of my way just so I don't have to wait for stoplights on busy thoroughfares.  Waiting in Dr's offices, waiting on hold, waiting for a deserved promotion, and waiting in line at WalMart.  All of these things are tedious and a seeming waste of my life. Centering prayer has definitely helped in this area.  One thing I have learned on this journey is that God's timetable is far different than mine.  His work of transformation in me is slow, but it is sure. I am so ready to move on in this spiritual quest, and yet here I am.  If my past life has taught me anything, it has taught me that I must wait.  Not only must I wait, He desires that I should be happy in that waiting.  "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning." And surely he will come!

Adam

Stop Making Sense

This blog has been online for some time now.  I look at the stats and wonder what brings people to this site.  I would guess it may be something in the title that drew them.  I imagine that they click the link looking for something and then realize, "this is not what I was expecting" , and they go on their way.  However, if you are looking for information on the contemplative path and, God, by His divine providence, brought you here, know this.  Until you experience the Love of God in your life nothing will truly make sense.  I wish I could help you on your path to realizing that truth.  I can say it and you may know it.  But unless that knowledge is transformed into a living and breathing reality that lives in your heart then I fear you will be always seeing but never perceiving, always hearing but never understanding.  If you have not experienced the Love of God in your life I would suggest you do 2 things:  1. Seek after it with everything that is within you and do not stop seeking it. 2. Pray that God would give you the grace to receive it. Ultimately His love is His gift to give.  All we can do is receive it with gratitude.

 

Abandonment to Divine Providence

When I started this blog my intent was to post on a regular basis.  At first this seemed plausible, but I soon realized that you cannot write about what you do not fully understand.  The more I practice CP, the less I seem to know.  And what I have learned needs time to percolate and be lived out before I try to communicate in words that which my brain can barely comprehend.  Nonetheless, today, on my way to work I came to the realization that maybe I could write about a couple of things.  One of those things is Divine Providence.  The title of this blog is the title of a book by Jean Pierre de Caussade, a French Jesuit priest from the 18th century. I would highly recommend this book to anyone trying to understand God's will for their life.  
According to de Caussade, all life events fall into one of two camps.  Either an event is the direct will of God, or God at  least allows it to occur.  If we did not believe this about God then he could be neither sovereign nor omnipotent.  If we believe this, then we have to come to the inevitable conclusion that God allows bad things to happen, even to those who love Him.  Sorry to be the one to break this to you if you did not already know it, and yet it would seem that much of Christendom is ignorant of this fact despite believing that God's perfect Son suffered and died at the hands of cruel men.
So we have that basic premise out in the open.  What does it mean for us? It means that everything that happens is either directly or indirectly the will of God.  Now this is probably an oversimplification, but the point is that we do not really have to worry about doing the will of God.  We live and move and have our being in it.  God is in and through everything that happens.  Nothing happens without his foreknowledge and consent.  
How should we live in light of this knowledge?  This is a great question.  I would say that it is THE question.  The answer is both simple and easy but difficult to carry out.  It is difficult because we view life in a worldly way.  The worldview is to avoid suffering and pain, and when we are confronted with it we try to deaden its effect with medication and distractions.  Christ Jesus embraced suffering and pain because he knew the outcome and he knew the One who loved him.  So the idea is to embrace the things that make us uncomfortable, even things that we do not think we can bear up under.  Suffering, pain, persecution, all of these things comprise what is means to take up our cross daily.  This may be a simple approach, but how is it easy?  Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  It is easy because Jesus makes it easy.  I we try to embrace pain and suffering on our own, we will quickly be overcome. If we know that our heavenly Father loves us and wants the best for us, we can bear up under the load because of faith.  The knowledge that God knows my suffering and will limit it and desires it for my benefit is the grace I need to bear it.  When we fight against pain and suffering we thwart the work that God is trying to accomplish in us.  Have you ever gone through the same thing over and over thinking it is going to be different just to come to the end and the outcome is the same.  As we embrace pain and suffering we receive the grace of Christ to endure it. "But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction." Job 36:15
What if I do not want to suffer?  Sorry, not an option.  You have options when it comes to suffering.  Avoiding it is not one of them.  One can either embrace God's Providence and suffering, or you can fight against it.  James says we should consider trials as pure joy, as it builds perseverance and completes us.  Fighting against the Providence of God brings sorrow, and bitterness and ultimately the loss of our faith.
The Father loves us with a love without limit.  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, according to His Purpose." Rom 8:28

Into the Silent Land (A book review)

I was recently viewing the Contemplative Outreach of St. Louis's website about the upcoming summer retreat in August.  I very much plan to attend and noticed the topic of the retreat was 2 books by Martin Laird.  One of which I purchased and read this past week, the title this post shares.  I really enjoyed the book.  I thought that is was very balanced.  On the one hand it dealt with the vague and often indescribable nature of contemplative prayer.  I suppose it is obligatory to include these difficult to explain and difficult to understand bits.  Yet, there were plenty of juicy practical bits as well for those of us struggling with this practice.
As a monk of the Order of St. Augustine, he teaches at Villanova University.  His area of expertise is the Early Church Fathers.  He uses the techniques of many of these early practicing contemplatives as the basis to promote further development in contemplative prayer.  He likens the techniques to the idea of sailing.  A sailor does not make a ship go, but his skill is in capturing the wind when it blows.  Several of the techniques he proposes have been personally helpful to me.  One is the recitation of the Jesus Prayer, "Lord Jesus Christ, Have mercy on me".  When coupled with the breath during a time of Centering/Contemplative prayer, it can help quiet the mind, especially when there is a lot going on in life.  I have found it very helpful in my practice and have even had some breakthroughs.
I have also begun the practice of reciting the Jesus Prayer whenever I am not having to do concentrative work.  Martin Laird touches on this practice in the book. The idea is to take the I Thessolonians passage of "Pray continually" quite literally.  I do it under my breath when in public, but out load when driving in my car or when I have time to myself. This practice is outlined in a little book called "The Way of a Pilgrim".  The idea is to make this a prayer of the heart with continual practice.
Finally, he provides some case studies of the lives of people impacted positively from the practice of contemplative prayer.  The stories were compelling and helpful as a reminder that this path, though not easy, has rewards for those who patiently wait.  I would definitely recommend this book and plan on getting the companion book, "Sunlit Absence".  I really look forward to the retreat in St. Louis in August when these books will be discussed.

Peace of Christ,
Adam

Centering Prayer Mini Retreat

March 1-2, 2013
Pleasant St. Church of Christ
1020 S Pleasant St.
Springdale,AR 72762

The retreat will start on Friday evening at 7:00 PM and will feature the teaching of Thomas Keating and others on DVD. There is no charge for the retreat. For more details or to RSVP please contact adringl at yahoo dot com.  Lunch will be provided on Saturday.

In quietness and trust is your strength

The other day I was doing my centering prayer in my truck at work during my lunch break. I had just finished my prayer time and was meditating on Isaiah 30:15-18 as part of my lectio divina. I believe God gave me the phrase from that passage "In quietness and trust is your strength". I began to focus in on that phrase and to ask God what he wanted to teach me about His word. In the next moment, my phone was ringing. I looked at my phone and hesitated to answer it as I did not recognize the number, but I decided to go ahead anyway. My boss had called to inform me that one of the systems we support was in the ditch and he needed my help. I had not eaten or finished my meditation, but in that moment, I thought to God, "I guess you are going to teach me about this passage in the laboratory of life today". So I got out of my truck and walked back into work with the attitude to learn from God what he wanted me to learn. I left work the next morning at about 5:30 AM, having worked to get our system back online and being up for over 24 hours. As I contemplated the lesson God showed me, I realized what "In quietness and trust is your strength" meant for me that day. I thought of life as a road that lead between 2 vistas. On the one side was beautiful mountains, flowering fruit trees and all things pleasing and desirable to the eyes. On the other side was a raging river, which looked treacherous and produced fear in me. I thought it natural to look to my left to the beautiful side and to desire the things it contained. The right side was something to be avoided since there was uncertainty and a sense of powerlessness. I think the left side represents the things that so easily draw my attention in this world and include careers, money, vacations, recreation, family, retirement, health and all things self-absorbing. The right hand side represents for me that which I do not prefer, frustration with my job, difficulty in our marriage, the struggle of raising a family, poor health, uncertainty about the future, and everything that produces fear and anxiety in me. And yet, as I considered this passage and the past day, I believe God was calling me to the raging river. To walk into it and submit myself to its control. A couple of years ago my son and I went white water canoeing. The river was high and we knew there was downed tree ahead, called a strainer. Yet when we saw it we panicked and tumped our canoe. The river was swift and I did not have time to get to the shore. I thought I could grab hold of the tree but the force of the river swept me right underneath the tree. I can remember a sense of powerlessness to do anything but be carried along by the current. God calls us to those things which we might despise and would rather avoid so that he can provide what we have no power to. If I submit to God, without complaining(quietness) and trust in Him, he will provide the strength needed to make it through whatever comes my way. God is calling me to the very things I would rather avoid, so that His strength and glory might be revealed in me. "Not by might nor by power but by my Spirit" says the Lord God Almighty(Zec. 4:6). So when I am confronted with a task that I do not particularly like to do, I think of what God wants to reveal to me as I submit to and trust in him. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all(2 Cor 4:17).

The Voice of God

One of the most compelling reasons,  to me, for practicing Centering Prayer is the potential opportunity to hear God's voice. I am not talking about an audible voice, but rather a sense of God's presence and an intimate communication beyond words. I have been a Christian for almost 40 years. Although I have always known that I received the Holy Spirit promised in Acts 2:38, actually knowing how the Holy Spirit communicates to us has been a puzzle to me. Quite frankly, for many years I questioned whether I even had the Holy Spirit, because I did not feel anything discernible beyond the constant drone of my own internal voice. CP really changed that for me, but today I realized something about my communication with my earthly father that I believe is indicative of my communication with my heavenly Father because of CP. My dad has been in the cardiac ICU for the past several days. 2 days ago they had to  put him on a ventilator when his lung collapsed. When on a ventilator you have to be heavily sedated or your body will fight against the tube going down your throat. In this state you are basically paralyzed and you cannot talk. According to my sister, who is a nurse, my dad can still hear me. However, talking to someone who cannot respond to you in any way really makes you wonder if they are hearing you. Today my mom, two of my kids and myself came in to see him. They were trying to wean him off the ventilator, so they had cut back on the sedation medicine. He was able to nod and point and move his feet. If we could ask the right questions he could respond to us without words. This totally changed the communication dynamic and we were overcome by emotion knowing that he heard us and could respond to us. That is really all I ever wanted from my Father in heaven, to know that he hears me and responds to me in meaningful ways. CP opens the way for this kind of meaningful communication. As I sit quietly, emptying my mind of the constant drone of my own voice and the noise pollution the world creates,  God is able to communicate with me. Not necessarily with audible words, but in a deeply intimate way. A gentle nod of the head or movement of my Father's foot brings inexpressible joy to my heart in a way that only I can understand. After the procedure to remove the ventilator failed, they had to crank up the sedation medicine and he could no longer communicate, but it was OK, because I knew he could hear us.  It is the same with our heavenly Father. Once we have perceived that intimate communication, we don't have to worry if he does not respond every time to our queries, because we KNOW that he hears us. That calm assurance that God hears me and that he loves me is all that I need.  He may communicate to me in ways my senses can comprehend, or he may communicate with me through the Holy Spirit in ways I cannot comprehend.  He knows what I need and when I need it.  CP allows me to be quiet enough to hear when he does have something to communicate and the peace to accept his silence when he doesn't.

Peace be with You,
Adam